This is my absolute favorite picture from the teen camping trip this weekend because it captures such a sweet and important moment. Every time we do a Teen Connect Adventures camp at La Joyita, we partake in the canyon adventure on Saturday. It’s a hike/swim through a beautiful canyon of marbled purple and cream-colored rocks. Some portions can be hiked or climbed, and others require swimming through corridors of extremely cold spring water. Swim through a pool, climb up a cascade. Swim through a pool, climb up a cascade. Repeat.

It’s challenging, and unless they are experienced climbers, it requires teamwork on the more difficult passages. Any teen who has completed the hike knows it’s a rite of passage. Many times, younger teens don’t complete it the first time they try and are eager to return the following season to give it another go.

Depending on the season, sometimes the river is just a trickle outside of the seven pools of water you have to cross. Other times (like this one), rainy season increases the quantity and flow of the water, and there’s a lot more in the creek. This waterfall was particularly challenging to get up and down because the cascade was rushing over the rocks, making it impossible to see where to put your hands and feet. We had to feel under the water for good holds.

In this shot, my son Connor (12) is being guided and supported by Justice (17). It truly captures my two favorite elements of the canyon hike: older teens stepping into leadership and supporting their younger peers, and younger teens trying things that scare them a little... building confidence while being encouraged by the whole group.

We can teach our teens about leadership, courage, kindness, and responsibility, but teens (and all other human beings) learn best by doing, not by hearing, reading, or being told. We need to give them opportunities where the situation itself calls them into action. In these moments, they do and they learn simultaneously. They instinctively recognize that they are needed, and they step up. Nobody has to tell them. The feeling of satisfaction when they know they’ve made a difference teaches more than our words ever will.

The same goes for the younger ones who are still building their confidence. Teens NEED to take healthy risks in order to grow. It’s something they have to FEEL in their bodies. You can’t learn confidence in any other way than by doing hard or risky things. This is what our teens need to combat anxiety and fear. And the cool thing is that it’s not even about succeeding or failing. When they try hard things... even if they don’t succeed the first time... they’re more equipped to try again and again than if they never tried at all.

This photo was taken on the way back down the canyon. Climbing up wasn’t a problem, but climbing down was scary and Connor wasn’t sure he could do it. If they stop in those moments and don’t even try, they start telling themselves a story that they can’t do hard things. But with encouragement and support from an older teen... who first set the example, showed him how, and then offered a hand... he did what felt impossible. And THAT is the moment magic happens.

These little successes help form identity and self-talk. And they don’t have to be big physical challenges like climbing waterfalls at camp (although that’s powerful). It’s the everyday opportunities teens need: taking the bus on their own, cooking a meal, starting a business, performing in public, finishing an art project, or teaching a younger kid how to do something.

Our teens need more opportunities to do things rather than just consume information. Learning happens in the doing... in real life. These are the opportunities I try to give my kids as a mom and to the teens who come to our camps. It's intentional and never fails to take my breath away.

You can learn more about our teen connect adventure camps here.